But... I'm trying to change that. Not a single one of us is promised tomorrow. I don't know how many times I've left work saying, "I left that in the top left drawer if she comes in. You know... in case I get hit by a bus when I walk out of here..."
Well, I sorta got hit by a bus. ....and life goes on.
I had planned for my third post to be about options. For those facing what we are facing and learning what can be done for a cat with oral fibrosarcoma. I just couldn't bring myself to write it all down over the last couple weeks.
This is the tumor, when it was found. Needless to say, I was horrified. I look in her mouth all the time, but I realized that day... only the sides. I have no idea why I never lifted her front lip.
Option one, which is the most aggressive. SURGERY. It would include removing a large part of her upper jaw where the tumor is. Basically removing part of her face. No. Nope. Nada. Not doing it. The horrible thing about this type of cancer is how quickly it usually comes back even after removal. I could not do that to her.
Option two is radiation. Daily radiation. Aside from the fact that I could not bring myself to make her travel to the vet every single day, maybe for the rest of her life, there was another huge factor in this. Right now, in all of New England there is only ONE facility that does radiation on pets. ONE. They have a seven week wait. I will say, even if it were around the corner, available today, and not a daily trip of three hours in the car, I don't think I would have done it. (I mentioned in my first post, some won't agree with what I do or don't do). To me that would be no quality of life for a cat that I've always avoided bringing to the vet because she gets so stressed out. (and believe me when I say she DOES go to the vet. Her health record file is bigger than mine). Also, she has a tumor in her mouth that makes her mouth uncomfortable. She is already uncomfortable enough. Do I want to radiate her and make her mouth more painful to buy her a couple of months? The oncologist told me no one knows. She could live six months without treatment, three months with treatment, or vise versa.
Option three: Chemo. I considered this one. Firstly, it's not really a treatment/cure for this type of cancer. In twenty percent of cases though, it shrinks the tumor for a bit and buys them more time. He got my attention with that one. I did more research. This diagnosis is a death sentence for certain. I decided against option number three as well. I felt like a bad human when I made that final decision. Maybe I wasn't giving her a chance. Maybe I wasn't doing enough. Took me a while though to see, I know her better than anyone. I know what bothers her, what upsets her, what makes her nevous, what makes her tick. We are going to enjoy every day we have left. No more trips to the vet. No more staring in her mouth four times a day. She can eat what she wants, turn her nose up to what she doesn't, eat under the bed..... so long as she wishes to. So long as she continues to chase butterflies.
Anyone who finds themselves in our situation will have to make their own decisions. While there is NOT a lot of information on feline oral fibrosarcoma out there... there is some. Also, lower jaw may be easier to deal with than upper jaw, giving someone an easier decision to make with radical facial reconstruction to remove the tumor. A less timid cat may have no problem taking a daily drive. I only know I had to do in my heart what felt right for her. Yes, I still doubt myself. I probably always will. But, when she runs out to be the first one to eat supper, or is the first out to the catio to watch the birds that makes it a good day. One I know she's enjoyed. ....and we carry on.
Hugs and Purrs,
Arline
give her the best days you can
ReplyDeleteThat's what we're doing. :)
DeleteI think you are making the best possible choice out of some pretty lousy options. You know her best and what she can and can't tolerate--it's obvious how much you love her and don't want her to suffer. Savor your time together... hugs to both of you, my friend.
ReplyDeletesavoring every minute. <3
DeleteYou are an amazing mom and doing what is right for your girl. It is hard to put aside your feelings and desire to hold on to her as long as possible and making sure Tessi comes first. I applaud you for being strong for her. There is not a pet parent around who has not struggled with these decisions and it never gets easier because they can't tell us what they want and leave us making that decision for them. You my dear are making choices from the heart knowing the treatment options would be more stressful than the disease. LOVE
ReplyDeleteThank you. I wish you'd signed this so I could thank you personally. Thank you for your kind words. I know everyone goes through this when things like this happen. My heart goes out to anyone and everyone who has or will go through things they cannot control. No matter how desperately you want to.
DeleteI didn't realize it posted anonymously. It's Lisa and I meant every word as I have faced the heartache with my own.
DeleteArline, keep trying, keep talking to her and keep the faith. Tesserae has come to you because you're the one who will move heaven and earth to help her like this. My own experience taught me that this journey of caring for a cat with cancer is a privilege and is life changing. I'm so proud that I tried so hard for my cat. We were on a journey together and it was profound. And one other thing I learned from my experience with my little Moofy was that I was the one who was hysterical about the diagnosis. She was totally accepting of it and just dealt with it. She knew I was trying to help. She knew I was upset. You can do this, and more power to you both oxoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you!!!! You and your Moofy are definitely an inspiration of how to do it RIGHT!
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